The Odyssey of Yes and No

i

No I cannot say no I say yes
no cannot be said
until the father is dead
Even when the father is dead
no I will say yes not no
No is not said in front of the mother
even when the father is dead
the mother mirrors his square head
even when the father is dead
the mother does not stop
saying yes to the father
but when I ask the mother
about her suicide
she says no not yes no
no she says he made it up
no she says no
then I cry like Tiny Tears
who arrived in a box
from the box tops of Sugar Pops
I hold the mother’s hand
and we sit without yes or no
Even if she closes her eyes and dies
she said no
there was no suicide
If she can say yes
while saying no
she says yes
but she said no
which sets the story straight

ii

No the father says no the father says no do not say no
The daughter says yes she says yes to the father
yes yes yes yes she says over and over
only yes the father said do not say no
the mother says no yes no yes yes yes yes no yes yes
the daughter says yes yes no until she needs to say no but says yes no
and falls down
when she gets up she tries to say no she tries to say no but no is too hard to say
so she says no yes yes no yes yes no yes no she says yes yes no yes yes no
until she says no yes
then she says no
A truck drives towards the daughter and she shouts yes yes no no no
the truck is very close and she says yes no no no no
the road is late at night and the daughter’s no becomes the sparrow
the sparrow flies above the truck and it doesn’t save the daughter
the truck may have heard yes yes no and yes no no no
or only yes
the truck may have listened or didn’t listen
there is no way to know
but we know the daughter said no after yes
and the father said no and the mother said no yes no yes no yes no
and the daughter died

iii

This is the key that turns the lock
the lock is like a clock
it rings like the clock in the tower
when all the petals from the chestnut trees
on Rue de la Porte
lift over the picnic tables
and cover the lawn and the cars
in the parking lot
The key is stuck in the old lock
that belongs to the broken chapel
Nothing turns quietly
The mother and father cannot look back
they are dead
The daughter can spin like the petals of chestnut trees
in a resurrection if the truck hears the daughter’s no no no no
or if there is no truck when the daughter says no
if the daughter says no and the father says no, you may not say no
and the mother says no there was no suicide
she says his yes was no
no was never no
was yes
then the daughter
over time
can rise

From Mobius, a manuscript in progress. First published in The Brooklyn Rail.